Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize