im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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