dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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