got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize