then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
