they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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