My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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