I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
