Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
