It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
