I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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