I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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