Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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