If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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