I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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