pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
