I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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