No stitches, just platelets and will power
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
COCAINE IS GR8
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