walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
