how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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