yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
