I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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