the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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