This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
