That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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