I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
