Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
