How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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