Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize