Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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