a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
