I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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