My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
