I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
