i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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