i think i have two assholes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
