I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I look better un-naked...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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