Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
