if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
