dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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