Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
