You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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