Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
