My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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