If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
