Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
