I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
