soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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