I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
