I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
