I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
