you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
