I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
