He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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