I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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