everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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