yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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