I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
