As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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