Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
