she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
